SWV

dreamt he loved another woman too

maybe he could make me wetter

make my wet dream cum true

his feminism wouldn’t be just for me

he wouldn’t bring her down to bring me up

he’d rain for my wet dream

he’d rain for her

he’d rain for me

he’d reign for my wet dream

and reign for a universe with infinite thrones

and reign for a universe to embraces vessels

and reign for generations to sow seeds

and reign for generations to bear fruit

and reign for a fluid universe

and reign for her

and reign for me

and rain on her

and rain on me

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me too 

it was 2008. i was a college freshman and he wanted a part of me that he had entered before. he was my high school boyfriend but it was done – just wanted to be homies. i refused to share my body with him again and he felt that fighting me would make me submit. we fought. i screamed and chased him with a knife out of my apartment. he recently followed me on IG. i immediately blocked that lowlife scum.
it was 2011. i was 21 and madly in love when my forehead was gashed open by my university boyfriend. i bled continuously until he trusted me enough to keep his secret and tell the lie that my injuries and bruises were from me falling off my bike – i walked to piedmont hospital alone which was ironically across the street from my condo which he had been nesting in. when we broke up, he told his family and friends that it was because i cheated on him – a lie to shame me and hide the truth that he was sick. maybe another reason why i moved overseas. my community had been tainted. i still have the scar from the stitches, faded but present. yet, i stopped keeping his secret in 2016 when i moved to tokyo – the unpaid emergency room bill which had been fucking up my credit for 5 years was finally mailed to his parents home with a letter courtesy of my strong grandmother. 
i have many more memories of abuse and assault. it’s fucked up that we can never be truly reconciled for the damage it does and how we must push to undo it. i’m still working through it all, even the seemingly minor transgressions that still happen – just wanna say #metoo. 💗💪🏾

mother nature 

june 2017 ::

i came from your pussy –

first one to come from your pussy.

didn’t it hurt when i came from your pussy?

so helpless, all bloody and squishy 

i was screaming and crying.

what a joy ー

you passed me off like a baby doll 

and i am not a toy.

//

you once looked so happy though.

you see, what had happened,

you gave up so quick on ya girl 

i’m not sure if you planned it.

i’m not tripping because 

goddamn girl you so craaazy

and if i was around you more 

i don’t think i’d be this lady.

//

maybe i’d be famished from no love from you. 

tres leches 

overdosed on self control

went to rehab, detox complete

desire’s high, can not tame

an appetite that yearns to crave

outermost masks cool as ice

median enjoys the void

sweet escape in the space between

beyond it all lives the rawest nature

the inner core quakes and beams

when the trinity is magnetized

self control can not be, naturally

best to flow into eruption

best to exhale and release the steam

fermented feels turn insatiable

refuse to let desires rest

when the trinity is magnetized

fear exists in a held breath

expression births realities sought

naive believe fate’s the only god

rewards to self root in declaration

let desire be the cause