june 2017 ::
i came from your pussy –
first one to come from your pussy.
didn’t it hurt when i came from your pussy?
so helpless, all bloody and squishy
i was screaming and crying.
what a joy ー
you passed me off like a baby doll
and i am not a toy.
you once looked so happy though.
you see, what had happened,
you gave up so quick on ya girl
i’m not sure if you planned it.
i’m not tripping because
goddamn girl you so craaazy
and if i was around you more
i don’t think i’d be this lady.
maybe i’d be famished from no love from you.
overdosed on self control
went to rehab, detox complete
desire’s high, can not tame
an appetite that yearns to crave
outermost masks cool as ice
median enjoys the void
sweet escape in the space between
beyond it all lives the rawest nature
the inner core quakes and beams
when the trinity is magnetized
self control can not be, naturally
best to flow into eruption
best to exhale and release the steam
fermented feels turn insatiable
refuse to let desires rest
when the trinity is magnetized
fear exists in a held breath
expression births realities sought
naive believe fate’s the only god
rewards to self root in declaration
let desire be the cause
This applies to everything.
had a beautiful cry
like i had a blade dragged into me to remove a dormant cancer that was hidden & resting but in great magnitude.
before this cry, i had a productive day.
i laughed and smiled.
i worked on new projects.
i saw people who i admire.
i had endorphins flowing through my body.
i had a cry @6A after a bike ride home during a call home to my grandmother.
it was like blockage was removed and resting pain that existed inside me exited in bulk, in the same vain of my living joy.
i could see myself screaming as babies do when they become aware of the vast world – life replanting me from my comfort zone to one more visibly boundless.
my grandma laughed and said i’m perfect.
Cooler than a cucumber / Flipped the pillow though / But there’s no need / Hands shaking when you touch there / You keep going / Windows run with water drops / Eyes are the windows to the soul / It’s a sun shower / Might not have noticed / On the other side of those 4 limbs / Haven’t seen you for some time / Was only warming up.
He said I smelled like earth / He asked where I was from / He felt Atlanta or Harlem.
Common FUCKBOI/GURL traits include:
2. KEEPING IT ANYTHING LESS THAN 100
3. KNOWING YOU AINT SHIT BUT MAKING EXCUSES TO PACIFY YOUR LACK OF GROWTH
4. FETISHIZING WHEN YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THERE IS NO COMPATIBILITY BUT FORCING A CONNECTION WHEN YOU KNOW ITS NOT ON SOME REAL SHIT & LATER BEING BITTER WHEN EXPECTATIONS ARE NOT MET
5. LEAVING MESSAGES ON READ WHEN YOU HAD PLANS TO MEET UP
6. LEAVING MESSAGES ON READ WHEN YOU HAD PLANS TO MEET UP & THEN TRYING TO MAKE THAT UP WITH SOME D OR P (sex in this case is beyond basic as fuck and glorification of sex in this case is a reflection of your mentality)
7. ALLOWING SOMEONE TO MAKE YOU FEEL LOW AND STILL RUNNING BACK TO THEM REPEATEDLY (being weak also makes YOU a fuckboi/gurl – that victim mentality doesn’t change shit)
8. THINKING THAT BECAUSE SOMEONE DOES BASIC SHIT FOR YOU THAT THEY ARE SPECIAL (again, low self worth doesn’t make you exempt from being involved in the fuckery)
9. USING THE BASIC SHIT THAT SOMEONE DOES FOR YOU AS A JUSTIFICATION FOR YOUR FEELINGS (see trait 1 – this is also thirst)
10. FEEDING YOUR OWN MANIPULATION (for example when you know someone is running game and you act like you don’t know what’s up and then later blame them for trying you)
I say all this with love, so don’t feel offended if you identify with any of these – just don’t complain to me either because I might not have the energy to hear about your sub par love life when we both know that you’re not out here levitating on the fuckery. This is no shade – this is about self responsibility, self awareness, self improvement, and accountability. We gotta do better and stop claiming victim & pointing fingers. Let us all enter Super Saiyan Savage mode.