petty spaghetti 

i came.

you’re late.

i sat.

you’re late.

i ordered.

you’re late.

i ate.

you’re late.

i left.

you’re late.

my value was the meal.

you’re late.

we made reservations together.

you’re late.

i’m gone.

you’re there.

you’re too late.

 

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p.s., i’m lactose intolerant but i really like greek yogurt. i usually eat yogurt because it’s painless dairy, but i just tested that theory and it’s not painless anymore.

might get the munchies and eat all the yogurt
used to get high in my grandma’s toyota
i was so reckless and ratchet – i know it
pushing the limits is always a motive
thats how i keep going & going & going
attention span slowing, stimuli more potent
a fountain of youth that somehow’s all-knowing
master of my makebelieve, santigold told me
nobody will ever see things exactly as me,
all of time, this beauty is mine
these eyes mirror my vision
these thoughts mirror my subconscious
these actions mirror my confidence
this energy mirrors my existence
this strength mirrors my persistence
its thursday, 1:34AM on july 6
weekday friends live overseas
weekend friends live in shibuya
thank god its thursday, right?

i noticed that

his hair is tough like my fathers. in all of my 26 years, he’s only been around for less than 2 percent of it all and somehow, the care, patience, and understanding he has shown me has far surpassed what i’ve received from my father during my entire lifetime.

i noticed that she reminds me of my grandmother. the way she plans ahead without announcing her doings. she walks cautiously. she speaks carefully. the things she doesn’t know she asks about with appreciation and passion, unafraid of revealing her unfamiliarity and eager to gain more knowledge.

friendships are flowers — in order to appreciate a full bloom, we must be present for all the moments in between.

circa 2004

These days, life is like the summer between jr high and high school. I don’t know it all but I’ve seen some things. I’ve grown apart from people. I’ve seen things come to an end. I’ve seen sadness. Creating precious moments that are like deep secrets is a hobby. I’ve built comraderies through shared experiences. Most things inspire me. I am very expressive. I dance often. I kiss my friends. I hold their hands. I want them to feel special. Life is not sexualized. Life is pure. My male friends are my brothers. My female friends are my sisters. I’ve seen happiness. I’ve gotten into trouble. I know life is about choices. I’ve taken some risks. I’ve seen my peers do foolish things for the attention and approval of others. I enjoy inside jokes. I’ve seen the ying and yang in my elders — some bitter, some better. My heart is warm. I like to write notes, lay on my bed naked & listen to music, & give flowers to strangers. I don’t take things too seriously, although I know some of my peers do. They think that’s what the future will demand from them. I’m enjoying breaking the rules, cherishing my friendships, living for my favorite things, and having a good laugh. The tests will always be there.

shibuya

< Deconstruct the social construct. Force the fuckboys and fuckgirls to evolve and elevate. Force the insecure ones to stop comparing. Force the rigid ones to dance until they sweat, even if they can’t catch the same beat as the person next to them. Force us all to ask less superficial questions and reach solutions that provide real foundation. Lets not hide our fears in liquid courage that fleets our bodies on the first train home. Let’s make a space where we can all exchange energy and be fluid without having to conform. >