i’m not being extra. 

had a beautiful cry 

like i had a blade dragged into me to remove a dormant cancer that was hidden & resting but in great magnitude. 

before this cry, i had a productive day.

i laughed and smiled.

i worked on new projects. 

i saw people who i admire.

i had endorphins flowing through my body.

i had a cry @6A after a bike ride home during a call home to my grandmother. 

it was like blockage was removed and resting pain that existed inside me exited in bulk, in the same vain of my living joy. 

i could see myself screaming as babies do when they become aware of the vast world – life replanting me from my comfort zone to one more visibly boundless.

my grandma laughed and said i’m perfect. 

i’m fine, thanks. 

who knows how to feel?

who knows how to deal?

who is made to kill?

i just reach higher.

permanent resident in the sky.

another motherfucker cannot

tell me how to be.

mother earth is dying.

there is no denying.

why am i not crying?

the spirit and quantum

makes me see higher 

than than my eyes.

i take things day to day.

pray with every breath.

prepare for a reality 

of this world with nothing left. 

i say this all with love.

are you fine?

i’m fine.

🙃🙃🙃

Daikanyama T-Site. 

11:54AM. 

Tuesday, June 21. 

I realized that I didn’t have a pen & desperately needed one to write down all the thoughts on my mind. I went to the stationary section. They have some reallly expensive pens, which I did browse & patiently explore. However, I subconsciously found the pens in my much preferred price range which I was very happy to see. 

It’s like when you’re looking at a diner menu. You know diners have some shit for everybody. So you look through the thick ass menu; you just want to find the shit in the $10 range because that’s all you have but you’re still curious so you take your time. 

Anyway, I picked 3 pens – One is yellow. BIC.  Ballpoint black ink, click pen. 150 yen. (I used it to write this) The other two are more of pen markers – Pilot. Teal & black. 100 yen each. 

I wemt to the cashier with my three pens and headphones on. I took them off to tell her that I don’t need a bag. My total was less than 400 yen. I put 1000 yen on the tray. She started looking for something. I noticed but I’m not tripping. She pulled out these laminated signs and started flipping through them. I was wondering why the fuck she was doing all that right then. I had thoughts on my mind to write down and she was lowkey blowing my high. 

She found the sign that is used for English speaking tourists that says that I can get my purchase tax free if I spend 5000+ yen and if I have my passport with with valid tourist visa. 

Of course, I don’t have a tourist visa because I’m not one but if I fucking was WHY THE FUCK, AS SOMEONE WHO JUST BOUGHT THE 3 FUCKING CHEAPEST PENS IN THIS BITCH SPEND 4600+ ADDITIONAL YEN JUST TO GET THIS SHIT “TAX FREE” (8% OFF)? 

I am not insulted at all, mind you.

I’m just like “do YOU care about having/utilizing common sense and critical thinking skills?

LOL. BISH WHET?

Anyway, I got my pens.

 🙃🤗😏

may / 

Cooler than a cucumber / Flipped the pillow though / But there’s no need / Hands shaking when you touch there / You keep going / Windows run with water drops / Eyes are the windows to the soul / It’s a sun shower / Might not have noticed / On the other side of those 4 limbs / Haven’t seen you for some time / Was only warming up.
///
He said I smelled like earth / He asked where I was from / He felt Atlanta or Harlem. 

You’re busy complaining about HER/HIM. Have you asked yourself “Am I a fuckboi/gurl?”

Common FUCKBOI/GURL traits include:

1. THIRST
2. KEEPING IT ANYTHING LESS THAN 100
3. KNOWING YOU AINT SHIT BUT MAKING EXCUSES TO PACIFY YOUR LACK OF GROWTH
4. FETISHIZING WHEN YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THERE IS NO COMPATIBILITY BUT FORCING A CONNECTION WHEN YOU KNOW ITS NOT ON SOME REAL SHIT & LATER BEING BITTER WHEN EXPECTATIONS ARE NOT MET
5. LEAVING MESSAGES ON READ WHEN YOU HAD PLANS TO MEET UP
6. LEAVING MESSAGES ON READ WHEN YOU HAD PLANS TO MEET UP & THEN TRYING TO MAKE THAT UP WITH SOME D OR P (sex in this case is beyond basic as fuck and glorification of sex in this case is a reflection of your mentality)
7. ALLOWING SOMEONE TO MAKE YOU FEEL LOW AND STILL RUNNING BACK TO THEM REPEATEDLY (being weak also makes YOU a fuckboi/gurl – that victim mentality doesn’t change shit)
8. THINKING THAT BECAUSE SOMEONE DOES BASIC SHIT FOR YOU THAT THEY ARE SPECIAL (again, low self worth doesn’t make you exempt from being involved in the fuckery)
9. USING THE BASIC SHIT THAT SOMEONE DOES FOR YOU AS A JUSTIFICATION FOR YOUR FEELINGS (see trait 1 – this is also thirst)
10. FEEDING YOUR OWN MANIPULATION (for example when you know someone is running game and you act like you don’t know what’s up and then later blame them for trying you)

I say all this with love, so don’t feel offended if you identify with any of these – just don’t complain to me either because I might not have the energy to hear about your sub par love life when we both know that you’re not out here levitating on the fuckery. This is no shade – this is about self responsibility, self awareness, self improvement, and accountability. We gotta do better and stop claiming victim & pointing fingers. Let us all enter Super Saiyan Savage mode.