my cousin got married last weekend.
i was maid of honor.
days before the wedding,
i became reluctant and cynical,
towards the occasion and my role.
i knew these feelings were fickle.
i knew better than my feelings.
the day arrived.
it was special.
my defense mechanisms were in tact,
until she walked down the aisle.
my cousin stood at the top of the staircase
with her father and brother on each side.
my cousin walked down the aisle
and faced her groom.
my cousin prepared to read her vows
and i felt overwhelmed.
my eyes watered uncontrollably
as new feelings revealed.
i was elated for her but something lingered.
welcome to heartbreak.