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my cousin got married last weekend.
i was maid of honor.
days before the wedding,
i became reluctant and cynical,
towards the occasion and my role.
i knew these feelings were fickle.
i knew better than my feelings.
the day arrived.
it was special.
my defense mechanisms were in tact,
until she walked down the aisle.
my cousin stood at the top of the staircase
with her father and brother on each side.
my cousin walked down the aisle
and faced her groom.
my cousin prepared to read her vows
and i felt overwhelmed.
my eyes watered uncontrollably
as new feelings revealed.
i was elated for her but something lingered.

welcome to heartbreak.

  

can you touch your higher self? 

contrasting colors 

comparative awe

independent powers

dependent cohesion

exponentially building 

simultaneously rising 

i’m falling in love

alien

pretend i don’t exist now

imagine i’m not here

its as you do not know me

all memories’ disappeared

i just want to be gone now

i just want to feel numb 

this dimension’s too constricting 

why can’t i see the sun

i can go

and come back as someone else 

no remembrance of myself 

i can die and rebirth 

and i’ll no longer be from planet earth

// a song for her //