raw food for thought

I just enjoyed an amazingly satisfying bowl of tomyum (spicy soup made with chilies and coconut milk) and spring rolls. I feel good. I spent my morning at the immigration office doing my 90 day check-in. Blaahh. I spent the afternoon binge watching Masterchef Canada, which is always an enjoyable activity. I know the season is complete but I’m rooting for Eric, the handsome Chinese boy. hehe. Go figure.  My second choice is Marida, a lovely Trindadian. Anywho… Before heading out for soup, I had an hour Lana del Rey jam session. That girl is one of my favorite musicians at the time. Her music makes me a bit emotional but it feels good to feel something so I dance wildly in my condo; sometimes with Mary, sometimes with teary eyes. Now, I’m back in my most enjoyed spot at the moment. I don’t know if that’s sad or peaceful, or peacefully sad. I have better places in my imagination though, of course. I’m realizing how much I love to sing though while having all this alone time. My voice isn’t half bad. I knew I had a little something in the treasure chest. I suppose that’s what gave me the notion to seek out a band to join. All this belting in my condo has my voice tuning up and sounding half good. Haha. I’m actually doing a duet with a young lady here who’s Scottish/Nigerian. She sounds straight like Chaka. We’ve got practice later this evening. The plan is to rack in about an extra $500/month each singing funk, jazz, and soul covers. I never say no to rising dough. Breadddddd. So yea, that’s happening. Again, these are reasons why I say life is good. Seriously. There’s so many things that I’ve done in Thailand within the 9 months I’ve been here. My life has upgraded wonderfully in such a short amount of time. I don’t know when I’ll be ready to leave. Of course, there’s one little thing that’s been troubling me. The uncontrollable loneliness. Ughhh. I wish I didn’t feel it. Trust. I didn’t really feel it until recently. I was too busy with my nose wide opened being in a foreign country but now that I’ve settled in and things aren’t as fresh, I wish I had someone to have fun with more & more. Its that simple. The icing on the cake. Greedy? Maybe. Sometimes I feel bad for wanting a friend when my life is so good. Am I too ambitious for wanting more? I don’t need someone to make me happy. I don’t need someone to give me purpose or any of that emo sadness. Been there, done that. I just desire someone to enhance things a bit and give me a new stimulant. A new positive energy. Life will be what its gonna be. A friend through this would be greatly appreciated. I think about my ex at times like these and how we could’ve been best friends if we would’ve been patient to see that we made better friends than lovers. I get that now. I don’t even need a lover. I wouldn’t turn down love if came my way though. I’m grateful for whatever true friendship happens to blossom in the near future.

Yuck. That was a lot of emotion. Glad I got that off. Eww. Time to return to Mary and Masterchef. I find joy in the simple things.


4 thoughts on “raw food for thought

  1. Hey asia it’s your cousin unique, I haven’t seen you in forever. I miss u. I’ve been reading some of your blog and I feel just like you. Your grandma could be right about the whole aquarius thing. I’m 1/23 I get bored very easily. N- way just want to say your travel has inspired me, you look like your having the time of your life and I love it. Keep in touch through email. Maybe I can be your next visitor

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